Example Ceremony #5

Presentation of the Bride
Rev: Who gives this woman to be married to this man?
Bride's Father and Son: We do.
Rev: Please be seated.

Introduction
Rev: We have come together here in celebration of the joining together of Jane and Joe. There are many things to say about marriage. Much wisdom concerning the joining together of two souls has come our way through all paths of belief and from many cultures. With each union, more knowledge is gained and more wisdom gathered. Though we are unable to give all this knowledge to these two who stand before us, we can hope to give them the knowledge of love and its strengths and the anticipation of the wisdom that comes with time. If we learn no more in life, let it be these truths. The law of life is love unto all beings. Without love, life is nothing. Without love, death has no redemption. Love is anterior to life, posterior to death, initial to creation and the promoter of the Earth. Marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its cycles; its ups and its downs; its trials and its triumphs. With full understanding of this, Joe and Jane have come here today to be joined as one in marriage.

The Celebration of Marriage
Rev: Above you are the stars, below you are the stones, as time doth pass, remember this: Like a stone should your love be firm. Like a star should your love be constant. Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect guide you in your marriage. Let the strength of your wills bind you together. Let the power of love and desire make you happy and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable. Be close but be yourselves. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience with one another, for storms will come but they will pass. Be free in giving affection and warmth. Treat yourself and each other with respect. Have no fear and let not the ways of the unenlightened give you unease for the creator is with you always.

Sand Ceremony
NOTE: This is a very personalized part of the ceremony. What follows are examples from a previous ceremony. The ribbons will be used in the hand fasting ceremony to follow.
Rev: Marriage is to belong to each other through a unique and diverse collaboration, like two threads crossing in different directions, yet weaving one tapestry together. But this marriage is blessed to be something greater than just a man and a woman. It includes the love and support of a family, the binding of several threads into one. Joe, Jane and their children have chosen to illustrate the unity of their family with a sand ceremony. Each individual has chosen their own color. As the grains of sand mingle together, they become inseparable. This is an elegant and poignant way of visually demonstrating the bonds that exist between them and creates a keepsake that they can treasure forever.
Rev: "Daughter #1" has choosen the color green because it symbolizes healing, hope, happiness, new beginnings, abundance and prosperity. (Daughter #1 brings forth her ribbon and adds her sand.)
Rev: "Son #1" has choosen the color orange because it represents healing and the changing seasons which are a symbol of their lives changing to a new level. (Son #1 brings forth his ribbon and adds his sand.)
Rev: "Daughter #2" has choosen the color white which symbolizes purity, sincerity and truth. (Daughter #2 brings forth her ribbon and adds her sand.)
Rev: "Daughter #3" has choosen the color purple. She has written this to her mother and Joe: Rev reads the personal note written by Daughter #3. (Daughter #3 brings forth her ribbon and adds her sand.)
Rev: "Daughter #4" has choosen the color yellow. She has written this: Rev reads the personal note written by Daughter #4. (Daughter #4 brings forth her ribbon and adds her sand.)
Rev: Jane has choosen the color gold. She writes: “Gold not only stands for riches and extravagance, but more importantly represents wisdom, good health, harmony, talent and unlimited potential. I chose gold because my wishes and hopes for this union are that we have the wisdom and unlimited potential to bring unity and harmony to all of our close family and extended families so that everyone will become united with us in our love. Also that all of us have good health as long as we are in this existence. (Jane adds her sand.)
Rev: Joe has choosen the color blue which symbolizes spirituality, intelligence, wisdom, loyalty, truth and peace. It is a calming color. It allows us to look beyond and increases our perspective outward. And it is helpful to communication. (Joe adds his sand.)

Sharing of Hands
Rev: Jane, please face Joe, and hold his hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you. Jane, these are the hands, young and strong and vibrant with love that are holding yours on your wedding day as he promises to love you all the days of his life. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy. These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief racks your mind. These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his love and desire for you. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years for a lifetime of happiness.
Rev: Joe, please hold Jane's hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you. Joe, these are the hands, smooth, young and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day as she pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life. These are the hands that will massage tension from your neck and back in the evenings after you've had a long hard day. These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times. They are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick and console you when you are grieving. These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope. These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams. For together, everything you wish for can be realized. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years for a lifetime of happiness.

Explanation of Hand Fasting Tradition
Rev: Jane and Joe have chosen to follow the tradition of hand fasting. In Europe until the mid 1700’s, few unions were sanctified in a church or synagogue. Rather, they were celebrated by a simple hand fasting ceremony in which the two partners joined hands over the village anvil on the village green, in the fields or in a groves of trees. This is where the terms "giving ones hand in marriage" and "tying the knot" come from. Back in these early years, the hands would be bound with whatever was available - vines, colorful cords, or a scarf. Today we will use these ribbons to symbolize the bindings or promises.

The First Promise
Rev: Jane, will you be Joe’s faithful partner for life?
Jane: Yes.
Rev: Joe, will you be Jane’s faithful partner for life?
Joe: Yes.
Rev to both: Will you be each other’s constant friends and one true love?
Couple: Yes.
Rev: And so the binding is made. (The green ribbon is draped across the couple’s hands.)

The Second Promise
Rev: Jane, do you promise to love Joe without reservation?
Jane: Yes.
Rev: Joe, do you promise to love Jane without reservation?
Joe: Yes.
Rev to both: Will both of you stand by one another in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want?
Couple: Yes.
Rev: And so the binding is made. (The orange ribbon is draped across the couple’s hands.)

The Third Promise
Rev: Jane, will you stand together with Joe in his times of joy and sorrow, sharing his laughter and his pain?
Jane: Yes.
Rev: Joe, will you stand together with Jane in her times of joy and sorrow, sharing her laughter and her pain?
Joe: Yes.
Rev to both: Will you share life’s burdens between you so that neither is overcome and will you share each other’s joys so that your spirits may grow in this union?
Couple: Yes.
Rev: And so the binding is made. (The white ribbon is draped across the couple’s hands.)

The Fourth Promise
Rev: Jane, will you always to be open and honest with Joe for as long as you both shall live?
Jane: Yes.
Rev: Joe, will you always to be open and honest with Jane for as long as you both shall live?
Joe: Yes.
Rev to both: Will you seek never to betray the trust you have in each other lest you plant the seeds of doubt which may grow and rend apart the love that you share?
Couple: Yes.
Rev: And so the binding is made. (The purple ribbon is draped across the couple’s hands.)

The Fifth Promise
Rev: Jane, will you honor and cherish this man?
Jane: Yes.
Rev: Joe, will you honor and cherish this woman?
Joe: Yes.
Rev to both: Will you share each other’s dreams and by dreaming together create new realities and hopes for this marriage?
Couple: Yes.
Rev: And so the binding is made. (The yellow ribbon is draped across the couple’s hands.)

Binding of all Promises
Rev: (ties cords together while saying): The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords but instead by your promises. Be mindful, as either of you may drop the cords. You hold in your own hands the making or breaking of this union.

Exchange of Vows
Rev to Joe: Joe, this woman whom you hold by the hand is to be your wife. She has given you one of the most sacred things under heaven: a woman's life and a woman's love. You may bring her great joy or cause her deep sorrow. It is not what you bring her in a material way that will make true happiness, for riches without love are nothing. The practice of those virtues as husband that you have shown as her lover will keep her heart won to your heart. Now I ask you: by the power of the spirit of truth that resides within us all, by the life that courses within your blood and the love that resides within your heart, do you take this woman by the hand, by the heart and by the spirit to be your chosen one? Do you accept her for the woman she is and will you not seek to change her in any way? Will you respect her, her beliefs, her people and her ways as you respect yourself? And will you promise to love her wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in this life and beyond?
Joe: I do.
Rev to Jane: Jane, this man whom you hold by the hand is to be your husband. On your life, your love and devotion he will lean for strength and inspiration. He is going to look to you for encouragement, for cheerfulness and confidence. No matter what the world may say or think, though people may forget him, lose confidence in him, and turn their backs upon him, you must always remain true to him. Your life and your love will be the inspiration that will constantly lead him to be the man he desires to be for you. Now I ask you: by the power of the spirit of truth that resides within us all, by the life that courses within your blood and the love that resides within your heart, do you take this man by the hand, by the heart and by the spirit to be your chosen one? Do you accept him for the man he is and will you not seek to change him in any way? Will you respect him, his beliefs, his people and his ways as you respect yourself? And will you promise to love him wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in this life and beyond?
Jane: I do.
Rev: Jane and Joe, as you dedicate yourselves to one another, I would ask that you remember to treat both yourself and each other with respect and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your marriage deserves. When frustration, difficulty or fear assail your relationship – as they threaten all relationships at one time or another – remember to focus on what is right between you and not only on the part that seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the times when clouds hide the sun in your lives, remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, your marriage will be marked by prosperity and joy. I ask now that you face one another and exchange the vows which will bond you to each other forever.

Joe and Jane speak their vows.

Benediction & Marriage Pronouncement
Rev: May you be blessed every step of your path together. May the sun shine upon you. May the moon move the tides of your emotions with grace and magic. May your hearts sing. May your hearth be warm and may all your days be filled with joy. Now that Jane and Joe have consented together to abide in peace and love, have given themselves to each other by their solemn pledges and declared the same before us, their witnesses, I now declare that they are husband and wife and their spirits shall be together forever more. May they always have true happiness and bliss as they seal their wedding vows with a kiss!
Rev: (Couple faces their family and friends) Dear friends, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Joe Lastname.